Boy Blunder and the Ogler

The Vandal is proud to announce an accomplice in his heinous ways. Boy Blunder is capable and a worthy young cadet (although older than me) to aid in my ever acidic escapades. He has proved his mettle quite exceptionally, excavating proof of “Big Daddy’s” (aka YbK along lines of Y2K) villainous whisker-hidden visage.

Apparently during a momentary memory lapse the evil doctor has revealed the inner workings of his voyeuristic designs to a member of the student body. Read below to find this example of spoken excrement which I’m sure will horrify you but frankly I’m not that surprised. While such a remark is way out of league and line and is shocking to hear from a ‘respected’ faculty member, it sadly proves a claim long supported circumstantially and only recently corroborated by indisputable audio evidence – that some Profs just ain’t getting some and feel the need to compensate in class and cultural events.

To respect the fair maiden about whom such slander was spoken I shall not reveal her identity here. Well here it is:

“Jo hilana chahiyye tha woh chhod ke sab kuch hil raha tha”

Despicable, uncouth and oh, so disgusting.

Finally – I unearthed a fossilised copy of “Lice Only”, it’s been that long.

We’ll be back with another SPLAT!! BANG!! BIFF!! article soon - at least earlier than the resurrection of “Ice Bonely” from perma-freeze. Such a ‘punny’ name!!

Till then - Same rat-time!! Same rat-channel!! Tana nanna nanna nanna nanna nanna nanna nanna Vandal.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAoaky3e__E

Clarified (like Ghee)

The Vandal minus the scandal this time; it seems the word wizards and essay enchantresses at Eye’s Lonely have misunderstood the intent of this solitary “War on Error”. What’s a launch without a blast and some fireworks to boot? While I admit nitpicking on a typo was extremely immature and idiotic you still haven’t told me whose sword you’re against? Anyway this isn’t a proclamation for war, rather a call for parsley…sorry parley.

My first article was against the hypocrisy of most of our enlightened stalWarts, the second was against censorship in an environment that should protect and encourage free speech (not like the ones at various cultural events by Experts-in-charge). I’d appreciate a newsletter that had the power to bring what’s wrong in this institution to light and require that those responsible be held accountable, rather than gloss and lacquer it all up. I’m with you not against you; you’ve started something that hopefully will resemble The Crimson someday, not the Daily Mirror. The next move is yours.

While I’m at it here’s something else that needs clarification:

• I haven’t seen V for Vendetta just the trailer, plus were I a fan of said talkie this would be called the Vigilante not the Vandal
• Everyone except Rummy hates Bush; iRan and China need to loosen up their corsets
• I’m not sure everyone finds beer and playboy repulsive, but they shouldn’t be distributed in the college
• A pub on campus may in fact reduce the chances of mishaps and bar fights outside the institute – though our campus is too small to house one in a remote corner
• Although I do feel divine is not adequately represented here there are works of art

I believe in duality – Yin and Yang stuff; you’re the crouching tiger waiting for the “opportune moment” while I’m trying to remain a hidden dragon.

To my adoring fans – I’m still here just a little lazy; and to the bootilicious babes in the GH (not guest house, silly) I’m sorry but I haven’t found my version of V’s Evey so I cant send you your helping of irrational graffiti.

A last minute line for my friends at Eyes Wide Shut – “Here’s looking at you kid.”

Censory Perception

The point of speaking out without sanction from aforementioned stalWarts is simple. Our college operates just like the government agencies in China, Iran, etc. that control or restrict information – if no one speaks about it people won’t think it exists and hence everything will seem fine and dandy. I’m quite certain their proxy servers are sourced from the same fine nations quoted above.

Well it isn’t; you know it, I know it and they know it – and I felt it was time to do something at the very least. A leading (non)periodical distributed in the campus claims to be looking for people ready to “Speak fearlessly, be part of the renaissance and ‘proove’ that the pen is mightier than the sword”. Who’s sword? And it’s prove not proove. Well if you are planning to apply for a post at this haven of ochre journalism I hope you know you’ll have to toe the line. Why? Cause the big daddy (an expert very visible at said bjjngr pan-wallah) on top of it all is quite capable of replacing Sharmila Tagore as censor board chief – write about our shitty admissions process or abysmal placement scenario (I was amazed at the way EO turned that around they should apply to become Bush’s spin-doctors) and your bound to get either fired or the whole operation shut down.

So I can’t really blame the word wizards at The Red Herring publication – it’s the system again. Would it improve if we paid a couple of rupees for a copy and took it out of the institutes finance? Maybe, but it would sadly, have to become anonymous and you already have me for that - don’t you?

These articles are here for you to think and hopefully, to bring you to act and make this institution better than it is. Feedback is appreciated and hence the address below. Vandalising the postings and adding comments, more so.

Vapours and Fumes

You know what ticks me off – the fact that although we’re the legal age to vote our hypocrite prof’s still feel the need to tell us what we can and can do with our lives. I write this with a hostel resident point of view.

If they catch us smoking, drinking, etc. they have no qualms in ‘taking action against such despicable acts’. But I ask you to keep a close watch on the counter of a particular pan-wallah right outside bjjngr gate – I have personally seen quite a few of these sentinels savoring the same fumes they seek to extinguish within our lovely (sic) campus.

Another bunch of these same stalWarts can be seen vnit’s true hangout – PP’s garage pub (“Eye’s Only” get your facts right, a few people posing with ice creams doesn’t change the truth) – as testified by erstwhile students of ECE.

So whether it’s boozing or closing computer rooms for porn while ogling examples of divine beauty in class (I may be exaggerating the divine part), our experts just can’t seem to face the facts – the more you ban something the more we’re driven to get a way around it – Orkut’s a fine example.

That’s not to say that all our teachers are fakes, even coal mines yield diamonds sometimes. Students aren’t much better either – in fact we’re worse in some ways…..